Did I tell you about the time I met Andrew Lincoln? (Real name, Andrew Clutterbuck. Nice.) Okay, so it only lasted 90 seconds but it truly was a highlight in my life. He was recording a voiceover for a client of mine (he’d been suggested by me – natch).
The day had a down side though. Let me explain…
I have this really excellent GP, she’s lovely and helpful – if a tad over-zealous. So, because I mentioned the occasional palpitation when I’m stressed, she thought putting me through an ECG and spending a day on a heart monitor would nail, once and for all, whether or not I had any truly sinister problems. Cool, I thought, some discreet micro-chipped device stuck neatly beneath my bra-strap. Let’s face it – you can get 5000+ music tracks on an MP3 player, and that’s smaller than a matchbox.
And when was this designated event to happen…?
I rolled up at the surgery, two hours before my session with Mr Lincoln, to be fitted with a contraption designed by someone on Blue Peter. They stuck three clips the size of clothes pegs to my chest, which were attached to three yards of BT cable, all plugged into a recording device the size of an overnight bag (well, large sponge bag). I managed to persuade them to tape the cables to my back; my blouse just covered the clothes pegs but the recorder had to be strapped round my waist. So, from expecting a neat, discreetly hidden micro-monitor, I ended up looking like a bus-conductor from the seventies. It even had this really neat, green flashing light in the shape of a heart on the top – flashing, as you might guess, to my heartbeat. Fortunately, it wasn’t fitted with an alarm. Just imagine my approach…
‘Andrew, lovely to meet you.’
Whaap! Whaap! Whaap!
‘Don’t worry, I just really am very pleased to meet you.’
I wouldn’t mind, but he wanted a single to Hampstead Heath and I couldn’t even give him a ticket.
Not surprisingly, when I returned to my doctor for the results, she mentioned a slight episode evident in the trace…
‘Was it around 10.30am?’ I asked.
‘Yes, actually, it was.’
No surprises there then.
It’s only fair I should add that Andrew Lincoln was a delight. Modest, polite and clearly with a smile that could make your pulse race. Oh…and a voice just like my hero Josh Warwick’s in Millie’s Game Plan.